The One Thing Magic Doesn't Work On
by starspangledpumpkin
Summary: Hermione wants to throw Harry his first birthday party. Things don't quite go according to plan. For the Houses Competition.


**Prompt - [Speech] Quick, hide behind that chair!"**

 **Idea - A surprise birthday party for Harry set up by Ron and Hermione.**

 **Characters - Ron, Hermione, Harry, George, Angelina, Ginny, Luna, and Neville.**

 **Word Count: 2,146**

 **For the House Competition**

—

"Have you remembered everything?" Hermione asked as she hung the banner labeled: 'Happy Birthday Harry' in large, friendly red letters.

"Yes, I have," said Ron.

"Are you sure?" she asked anxiously, adding more tape when that one side of the banner threatened to fall. "He's never had a birthday party before and I just want this to be perfect. You have the cake? The presents? The chili _is_ cooking isn't it? Ginny also has the correct location?"

"Mione… darling… love of my life," said Ron. "This is _our_ flat. He's bound to wind up here eventually."

Hermione rolled her eyes but smiled at being called the love of his life. While she lived temporarily with George and Angelina until she could get paid enough for her own flat, Ron and Harry had their own place in Diagon Alley not far from where she lived above Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

With severe damage from the war, the property value was at an all-time low and rent prices were at an all-time high. Too high for anyone (anyone freshly out of school, anyway) to live on their own. With the Ministry trying to get back in order, the economy wasn't quite what it was. But just because times were hard didn't mean that they couldn't have a birthday party.

Hermione handled all the arrangements. She was cooking up chili and finger foods buffet style. She and Ginny baked a chocolate cake and made it look like a snitch. All of their friends were going to be there, too, including Neville, Luna, George, and Angelina. Ginny was keeping Harry distracted for the time being while they set up.

"I just want everything to be perfect, Ron," Hermione continued, eyeing the leveling of the banner and fixing it.

Banners just _never_ hung right.

"Hermione, it looks fine," said Ron. "Harry's gonna love it."

She made a small noise in the back of her throat and climbed down the ladder.

"I want everything to be perfect," she repeated.

"I would be cautious of making it _too_ perfect," said Luna, stacking the presents on the coffee table. "It might make him uncomfortable."

"I… I guess you're right," said Hermione. "But I just—"

"Want everything to be perfect," Ron finished, kissing her temple.

"Hermione, where should I put this veggie tray?" Neville asked.

"Put it on that table… not there!"

Neville jumped and looked at all the clear space in front of him.

"That's where the butterbeer is going!" she said, hurrying over and putting the veggie tray in the top left corner of the table. "Here. You can put it here."

"Is something burning?" Luna asked.

"THE CHILI!"

Hermione ran into the kitchen and turned off the stove whilst stirring the chili. She clicked her tongue and groaned when some tomato sauce got on her top.

Two arms wrapped around her and held her tightly while she blotted up the mess.

"Mione, calm down," said Ron, pressing his cheek against her hair. "Big breaths."

He swayed gently, and she allowed herself to focus only on his breathing, his arms around her, and his voice.

"Like you said, Harry's never had a birthday party before," he murmured, kissing her head. "So, there isn't exactly a high bar to reach. If things don't go quite right this year, we can always do better next year. We can get my mum to cook next time, so you can focus more on planning."

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were busy babysitting Fleur and Bill's baby while the couple were in France for Fleur's cousin's wedding, so they couldn't assist with the party but did send a gift and their regrets about not making it.

"Okay," Hermione sighed and muttered. "You're right."

"I'm sorry, what was that?" said Ron. "I didn't quite hear that last bit."

Hermione rolled her eyes and bit back a smile. She rested her hand on top of his, entwining their fingers.

"I _said_ 'you're right'," she repeated.

"You hear that everyone?" Ron called. "I'm right! Neville, add a tick to the chalkboard, that makes three!"

"Ron…"

"You want to know what else I'm right about?" he said playfully.

"What else are you right about?" she asked, rolling her eyes again.

"That you look great in this dress."

Hermione glanced down at the red cocktail dress she had worn for the party. When she saw it at the store, she knew she absolutely had to have it. She thought the off-shoulder style looked flattering on her and the red popped against her dark brown skin.

"Do I, now?" she said. "You're not going to get all jealous?"

"Maybe when I was fourteen," he said, "I'm a changed man now, Mione!"

"Last week you nearly picked a fight with a bloke when you thought he was staring at my ass." She raised an eyebrow. "And you're okay with me accentuating that feature?"

"Well, it's okay if _I_ stare at your ass," he said with a shrug.

"Shut up!" Hermione laughed, grabbing a potholder and smacking him with it.

Ron released her, so she could place the lid back on the chili. He slid the potholders on and carried the pot to the living area. Hermione hummed cheerfully as she arranged cheese, crackers, and various meats on a tray.

Once the tray was on the table, Luna placed something on her dark curls.

"What's this?" she asked.

"Party hats," said Luna. "I thought we should make this special, so I made everyone party hats."

"I helped make these ones," said Neville, holding up a flower crown and an ivy crown. "And we have a special crown and cape for Harry to wear."

"To make him feel important," Luna explained.

"He's pretty important already," said Ron, ducking away from the silver cone meant to be his party hat.

"If you say so."

Hermione huffed through her nose and looked in the hallway mirror at her crown. It was made of shiny paper and bedazzled with multicolored rhinestones with no particular pattern. The last bit bugged her, but she was trying to take a page out of Ron's book and relax.

When she re-entered the room, she turned to George who looked to be rigging something up in the doorway.

"Whatever it is you're planning," she said. _"Don't."_

"Hey, glitter adds a flair to any party," he said with a grin.

"Uh-uh! You are _not_ dumping glitter on Harry when he walks in!" said Hermione shaking her finger at him. "You even bring glitter in this flat, so help me, Morgan le Fay, I will hex your other ear off!"

"Uhh… too late." George brushed some glitter off his sleeve.

When it didn't come off, he wiped at it harder.

"Let me try, love," said Angelina. She drew her wand and tapped his sleeve, muttering a spell under her breath.

It did nothing.

George furrowed his brow.

"I told you not to mess with glitter," said Hermione. "Move that bucket— NO!"

Neville tripped on the glitter bucket, kicking it right in the way of the floor fan.

The flat didn't have good air conditioning, so fans were set up in every room on full blast. Glitter exploded like it came from a cannon, dousing the entire living area with glitter. Hermione stiffened considerably and could have been a statue if it weren't for her slowly opening and closing her hands.

"I've got it," said Ron before Hermione could pop a vein. _"Scourgify!"_

The glitter didn't move.

"Er… _exilium_!"

Nada.

"There are _three things_ magic doesn't work on," said Hermione slowly. "Those three things are sand… pet hair… and _GLITTER_!"

"You know, glitter attracts—"

"Not now, Luna!"

"It's okay," said Ron. "We have a bit more time."

"Right," said Hermione taking a deep breath and coughing on glitter. "It's fine," she choked. "We'll sweep up what we can and I'll call in… wait… no… I _can't_ call in take out because we don't have phones and we live in Diagon Alley!"

"I've got some bad news," said Luna, looking out the window. "Ginny and Harry are back."

"WHAT?" Hermione shrieked. "No! Turn the lights off! Everyone hide! Neville, quick, hide behind that chair— no, the other one! Ron! Distract him!"

"How?" Ron asked.

"I— just— get him back out of the house!" She switched the lights off and hid behind the food table.

Ron threw his hands in the air and ran to the entryway just as the door unlocked. Harry and Ginny entered, laughing about something one of them said.

Harry paused and stared at Ron's glitter-coated form.

"Harry! Mate! What are you doing here?" Ron asked.

"Uh… I live here… what?" Harry gestured to all of him. "Why?"

"Oh! This? Uh… yeah, see…" Ron fumbled with his words. "I mean— you— you're home early you know!"

"I told him I'd like a way to pass the time," said Ginny. "I didn't realize he meant at his flat."

"Ugh! Harry! My sister!"

Harry blushed, and Ginny just rolled her eyes.

"Ron, _why_ are you covered in glitter?"

"Yeah," said Harry. "You alright? Maybe I should—"

"You can't come in!" said Ron, blocking the doorway.

"Why not?"

"Be-because… um…"

Harry ducked under Ron's arm and flicked on the light. His eyes widened when he saw the state of the room, eyes coasting over the glitter still suspended in the air like dust particles, the birthday banner which was now hanging by one end, and the ruined food displayed on the table.

"I… what…?"

Luna popped out from behind the coffee table and waved her hands in the air.

"Surprise!"

Hermione groaned and accidentally thunked her head on the table as she tried to stand.

"I'm sorry, Harry," she moaned, rubbing the sore spot. "We were just trying to throw you a party and we— _I_ wanted to make it a surprise party."

"Consider me surprised," said Harry, still staring at everything. The corner of his mouth quirked. "Is this what all the fuss was about today? Ginny keeping me out all day and everyone mysteriously being unavailable on my birthday?"

"It's just… we were going to bring a cake out for you the year before last, and then _last_ year you had to miss your own birthday for an assignment… I wanted this to be perfect." Hermione sniffled a little and wiped her face. "I wanted it to be perfect."

"Aw, Mione," said Harry, breaking into a wide grin. "This is the best birthday party I've ever had!"

"This is your first birthday party," George pointed out. Angelina swatted his arm since the glitter was his fault.

"Still!" he said. "You went through all this trouble for me and you're all here and that's what makes it the best." He stood beside Hermione and gave her a side hug. "How about this? Let's all go to that new pub that opened up on Horizont Alley. We can order a dessert and stick a candle in it."

"Okay," Hermione whispered.

"Ooh! Harry, Neville and I made you this!" said Luna, placing a special fur-lined crown on his head and wrapping a red cape around his shoulders.

"Wow, thanks Luna," said Harry. "This is great. It makes me feel… important."

"You are important, Harry," said Ginny.

"If you say so."

"Come on, let's move this party," said Angelina, stacking a few presents in one arm.

The presents were gathered, and the party moved down the streets creating a trail of glitter. Luna seemed to be the only one enjoying it and Harry was just amused.

"You know," said Harry, once they all had their drinks. "I think perhaps next year we should just order in food and… try not to bring glitter."

"Can do," said George. "Sorry about your flat."

"We'll live," he chuckled. "It'll take a lot of sweeping and vacuuming, but we'll live."

"Where's Neville?" Ginny asked. "I thought he was just here."

"I'm here!" Neville called, making his way through the crowd and carrying something in his arms.

He set the sheet cake on the table. It was baby blue with white borders and _It's A Boy!_ Written in buttercream icing.

Harry mouthed what it said and broke into a fit of laughter. The rest of the group followed and Neville turned pink.

"It was the only one they had ready!" he laughed.

"It's great, Neville," said Harry.

"Good thing I made this hat," said Luna, setting her crown on top of the cake.

It was a circlet with candles sticking around the top. Ginny lit the candles with her wand.

The group sang Happy Birthday to Harry and patrons in the bar joined in to celebrate _The-Boy-Who-Lived_.

"Blow out your candles and make a wish," said Hermione. "But don't tell it, or it won't come true."

Harry smiled.

"I don't need to wish for anything."

He inhaled deeply and blew out the candles in one breath.


End file.
